I’d like to tell you that I have no regrets…but I can’t. I can tell you, however, that I have less regrets today than I had, say, 5 years ago or 10 years ago. My thoughts on regrets have changed over time as my view of God’s sovereignty has climbed and climbed. Let me explain briefly.
In the past, I could look backwards to previous events and previous decisions made and I would feel guilty for being so stupid, feel bad for doing what I did, and have regrets for whatever situation was upon me. But things began to change the more I read the Bible because the more I read the Bible the more I began to understand that God was proactive and not reactive.
I used to think that I made my bed and so I had to sleep in it…and to some degree it is true as there are consequences for sin. However, my thoughts have changed over time. I began a relationship with God and began reading His Word. I learned that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Clearly, God must love me because I chose to love Him and He was reactionary in giving me love and in taking my stupid, sinful, corrupt, childish, idiotic actions and somehow re-working what I had done such that it was for my benefit and that I might learn from it and grow from it and become a better man and better Christian because of it. (sorry for the long sentence) But then I read Job.
In reading Job I learned that Satan and God talk to one another! How crazy is that? I thought they were these arch-nemeses like Superman and Lex Luthor who were always battling for the souls of mankind and sometimes the pendulum swung towards God and sometimes the pendulum swung towards Satan. But then I read the Bible some more.
And after reading some more I learned that God created Satan. I don’t recall Superman creating Lex Luthor. How could a created thing be better than or even on par with the Creator? Easy answer…it cannot! So I was tossed into a theological and philosophical tailspin as I attempted to remove the reality of God from the comic book fantasy of it that I had formulated in my own imagination. I began to see Satan, from reading Job, as being like every other created thing in that Satan can only do what God allows him to do. Just go read the first chapter of Job right quick and and you’ll see what I mean. You’ll see God’s hand of suppression doing the work of keeping sin down. He doesn’t allow Satan to kill Job but He does allow Satan to perform his free will of nastiness upon Job, yes? And Satan has a field day! But keep reading through the whole book. Job is da bomb!
So my thoughts on my own failures began to change. My regrets seemed almost ridiculous as I noticed that I was regretting something that, in the end, made me a better man and a better Christian. I began to see that God arranges things before they happen such that the experience that I learn, even in my failures, can bring me to the point where I am today. I would be a different person today if it were not for the situations where I failed miserably in the past…or the situations where I succeeded in the past. The book of James tells us to “Consider it all joy…when you encounter various trials.” Notice there ain’t no ifs ands or buts about it! “When” you face various trials! Christian, the trials are a comin’, you can be well assured of that! And God knows exactly why. I don’t know why. And if you ask me why I’m going to tell you to ask God about it because all I can do is quote Romans 8:28 back to you and that’s not what you want to hear from me at that moment, right?! I know it’s not what I want to hear!
But if our past failures and successes were driven by God to specifically mold us into the men and women we are today such that we can do a mighty work for the Lord and for the Kingdom, then should we regret them? I don’t know. Maybe some of them. But I’m noticing that over the years my regrets have decreased and my thankfulness for my stupidness in the past has increased as I’m less of a spiritual dolt today because of my God-driven past. Thank you, Lord, for putting me through the past so I can be useful in the present and I promise, Lord, that I won’t attempt to steal your glory!
And I promise you this…If you’re a Christian, and you’re going through some tough times, and you come to me for whatever reason, I promise to do my best to NOT be to you what Job’s “friends” were to him (or even his wife). We’re supposed to “Bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2) and not add to the list of burdens. I don’t know how to bear your burden unless you give it to me or I take it from you, and that’s a scary proposition for all parties involved, right? For some reason, we like our own burdens. We don’t want to give up our burdens. It was my wife’s grandmother, Nanny, who said, “If everybody threw all their problems out in the middle of the road, we’d all run out and grab our own” (paraphrasing). There’s truth to that. Our own burdens are somehow…comfortable…
So anyway, I’d like to “fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2) by bearing your burdens. Heck, maybe you can bear mine! Let’s toss our problems out into the street of Christian community and pick up someone else’s problem and help out. If we go pick up our own problems it won’t get fixed. We have proven that every time we attempt to fix our own problems, amen? So it’s time to obey God and do 2 things…Ask for help. And be a help. That keeps us from being focused on our selves, even in the midst of problems, as we entrust one anther with our burdens and help one another to bear said burdens.
So, Christian, as the problems and burdens and situations arise in your life that just aren’t no dadgummed fun, understand that we still have joy, that we need to ask others for help and be in relationships with fellow Christians that are deep enough for us to ask for help, and that we need to be a help and not an additional burden.
Father, let us not be Job’s friends. Let us not heap extra burdens upon those that are heavy laden. But let us, in love, attend to those that are hurting. Remind us on a consistent basis where we get our strength…that we are weak in ourselves and we get strength from you. Help us to understand that guilt and regret ties us down to a godless past without the hope of the future of Heaven. Let us remain in our joy even in the midst of trials and allow us to bear one another’s burdens to fulfill the law of Christ to love one another. Thank you, Lord, for your provision. Thank you for the refining fire and for the removing of the dross of our lives. Thank you for placing me in a community where I can be a burden bearer and others can help bear mine. I love you. We love you.
Soli Deo Gloria
Addendum:
The above is not to be a license to continue in your sin, not at all! It’s just a glimpse into my journey of understanding God’s sovereignty and how He allows us to go through certain situations because you will be a better soldier in His army because of it. You will be a better, more well trained, well seasoned, experienced battler against sin and for God!
“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin.”-Romans 6:1-7
PilliOddsAndEnds 